The Weight of Memory: Army aviator mourns Soldiers he lost in Afghanistan 20 years ago

CAMP ZAMA, Japan – For most, the final days of May signal the unofficial start of summer, but as the calendar turns and flags are lowered to half-staff across the country, the approaching weekend brings a familiar, quiet burden for Chief Warrant Officer 3 Vandy Thon.

“Every Memorial Day, it’s hard,” Thon said. “Because the pain doesn’t go away when you lose somebody.”

Thon, 39, is the son of a former infantry officer who served in the Royal Cambodian Army in the 1960s. He grew up in Long Beach, California, as a first-generation immigrant when his family migrated to the United States after the end of the Vietnam War.

Thon is currently assigned to the U.S. Army Aviation Battalion – Japan, where he serves as a UH-60L helicopter instructor pilot, and has been an aviator for seven years. But he began his career in the Army 21 years ago, enlisting in 2005 at the age of 18 as an infantryman, just like his father.

After completing training at Fort Benning, Georgia, Thon was assigned to the 2nd Battalion, 87th Infantry Regiment, 10th Mountain Division, at Fort Drum, New York. The following year, he deployed to Afghanistan for the first of four tours he would eventually complete there.

Across more than two decades of service, Thon has lost many friends, which brings up painful memories for him in the weeks leading up to Memorial Day. Yet, the weight of these losses extends beyond his immediate circle, as the tight-knit nature of the aviation community makes every report of a downed aircraft feel like a personal tragedy, regardless of whether he knew the Soldiers involved.

“Those of us who work in aviation, every time we hear about a crash or we hear about any incidents involving helicopters, the first thing everyone asks is, ‘Who was it?’” Thon said of the grim reality of aircraft accidents.

Cpl. Aaron Griner During Thon’s first deployment to Afghanistan, he lost his medic, Cpl. Aaron Griner.

“He loved to take care of Soldiers,” Thon said of Griner. “He was the friendliest person I’d ever met.”

Griner was killed June 28, 2006, when his Humvee struck an anti-tank mine during combat operations in Helmand Province. Griner was sitting behind the driver. Thon was two vehicles behind his friend and saw the explosion.

Griner, a native of Tampa, Florida, was only 24 years old and had become a father just before deploying. Thon said Griner was looking forward to taking his upcoming rest and recuperation leave to travel home and see his wife and newborn baby. Instead, the young medic was the first casualty Thon’s unit suffered in Afghanistan.

“He never made it back home,” Thon said. “It hurt everybody. I don’t think there was a single dry eye during his memorial.”

Thon still remembers witnessing a moment when Griner did not even think twice to help his fellow Soldiers one scorching summer day there in Helmand. It was one instance of selflessness that he said summed up his friend’s character.

“Everybody had run out of water,” Thon said. “Griner had some, but he was not drinking it. He was passing it out to the other Soldiers to make sure they were taken care of. That’s the type of person he was.”

Sgt. Jasper Obakrairur Sgt. Jasper Obakrairur and Thon were both sergeants and became close friends when they deployed to Afghanistan in 2009.

It was Thon’s second time in the combat zone, and he was part of the team in his unit that detected and neutralized improvised explosive devices. Obakrairur, or “Sgt. OB,” as Thon called him, was an armored security vehicle gunner.

Obakrairur was killed June 1, 2009, in Wardak Province when an IED detonated near his vehicle.

Thon was part of the team that was tasked with securing the wreckage, and the professional nature of the mission provided little shield against the visceral reality of witnessing the devastation firsthand.

“Seeing the aftermath of the vehicle and imagining in my head what happened, it was horrible,” Thon said, “It hurt. It really did.”

Though the heavy grief of that day remains a permanent fixture in Thon’s life, he has ensured that his friend’s legacy extends far beyond the battlefields of Afghanistan. He will always miss the Soldier he knew as Sgt. OB, but he keeps his memory alive in the most profound way possible — by naming his own son, Jasper, after him. For Thon, it is a lasting tribute to the character of a man who always put his fellow Soldiers first.

“He always took care of people,” Thon said.

Memorial Day This June marks 20 and 17 years, respectively, since Cpl. Aaron Griner and Sgt. Jasper Obakrairur were killed. Thon has lost many other friends and brothers and sisters in arms, and their memory will always stay with him. But each Memorial Day brings to the forefront of his mind those two Soldiers who had a major impact on his life early in his military career.

“Meeting people like Aaron and OB, you realize that the bonds and the family you make in the military, you can’t get that anywhere else,” Thon said. “If they were still here, I would thank them for taking care of me. I would thank them the friendship they gave me.”

No matter how much time has passed, or that will pass, Thon said his friends will never be forgotten.

“That’s what I think it’s Memorial Day is for,” he said. “They sacrificed their lives for us to be there, so I want to continue to celebrate them and keep their memory alive by telling their story.”